pumpkin-pie.org.uk
Investigations of the Birchanger "Body-in-the-Van" case have so far stalled because police have been unable to find the van or the body.
(Herts & Essex Observer)
Building surveyor Alec Halstead broke his jaw in three places when he tripped and fell after leaving a Devon County Council "Safety at Work" meeting.
(Yorkshire Evening Post)
Two women who carried on a "lucrative business" at a brothel near Tooting Bec Common were each ordered to work 200 hours for the community at Camberwell last week.
(South London Press)
After being charged £20 for a £10 overdraft, 30 year old Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed poll to 'Yorkshire Bank Plc are Fascist B@stards.' The Bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr B@stards has asked them to repay the 69p balance by cheque, made out in his new name.
(Guardian)
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a special branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.
(Guardian)
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied that he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
(Aberdeen Evening Express)
"Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case."
(from The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand)
A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth, was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented: "This sort of thing is all too common these days."
(Times)
"We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce."
(Derby Abbey Community News)
Police in Kentucky are looking for a customer who succeeded in paying for a $2 order at a fast-food restaurant with a phoney $200 bill featuring a picture of President George W. Bush and a depiction of the White House with a lawn sign saying, 'We like broccoli.' Authorities say the female cashier at a Dairy Queen in Danville even gave the culprit $198 in real money as change.
(Reuters)
Overcome by gas while taking a shower, she owed her life to the watchfulness of the caretaker.
(Cheshire Weekly)
Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church labelled "For The Sick", is for monetary donations only.
(Churchdown Parish Magazine)
Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."
(Daily Telegraph)
